Been too long

Already in the middle of March... 2007!

Been too long... way too long. How we all live our lives and forgetting to enjoy the little things that make this life worth living. We get too absorbed into trying to "make it". Is this rat race worth it? Everyone else around us become family and friends of convenience. We spend our time trying to make it better with larger cars, larger homes, expanded wardrobe, the latest cellphone... etc. If the feeling of being successful is constantly trying to make more money to pay larger bills, I'd rather be less successful.

I have learned that time with the people I love and doing the things I like to do is worth more than any material things. I miss family and real and sincere friends. I miss the time when we can all sit and be silly and not have to worry about how they will see me. I miss spending the night over. I miss not having to worry about my legal status in a country. Most of all... I miss being... me.

Growing Up and Growing Out

Reminiscing old times... not something that I do voluntarily. Feeling disappointed with people you call friends. It is just ironic when the people that you have known for the longest time is less appreciative of you than the people who you have just known for a short while. Are we just too absorbed in our own life that we forget? Or have we just met more new people that the older "friends" are swept under the rug. Or have we just be too complacent with them that we have just taken for granted. I believe is the latter. I have become a "fair weather friend".

I guess for me it is the differences in how we handle our responsibilities. Also the things that we view that are important in our lives. I think I should stop thinking why because people are just too self absorbed most of the time. I am guilty as charged.

Plans are made to be altered

I guess sometimes plans just don't go like the way we want them to. I guess this is where it "builds" our character? And how we have to be resilient to all the obstacles and disappoinments in life. Sigh... The problem is that there are just too many disappoinments and trials. It's difficult to deal with one blow after another. Know how a wild elephant is tamed? Well, I think I am almost broken. Hate to admit defeat though. Perhaps that's why I usually take a rest... put my head down, feel de-motivated, disappointed, and live each day by going through the motions.

By the way, I hate it when humans force a wild animal to be tame. That's not the way nature intended it to be. If we did away with slavery, we must do away with these crap too. I think there's nothing that disgust me more than humans. We are the most greedy, ruthless, ignorant, arrogant, irresponsible, prejudice, and selfish species in the entire solar system.

Long time no see

Wow, time flies. Already the end of March. Well, life goes on.

Welcome to 2006

Another year has ended. What does it all mean? I guess it's just a way of quantifying something. Does it really matter if we know what year and how many days we have successfully survived in this world? Not to me. Though, I do look forward to every other Thursday - pay day. But then again, all my pay goes on to pay the bills. How is the economy healthy when more and more people are losing their good paying jobs and only low wage jobs are being created? According to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, jobs are created everyday. Then why is it that the poor is getting poorer and the middle class is struggling? But the rich is getting filthy rich? Only the cronies affiliated with 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW would know. And the rest of us... we know too. Shhh... ;)

Salla Sutta (The Shaft of Grief)

The life of mortals in this world, brief and beset by woes, can neither be calculated nor gauged.

There is no device by which one who is born, can escape death. Having attained old age, death is inevitable.

Just as fruits having ripened must fall, even mortals who are born must always have the fear of death.

Just as earthen-ware vessels a potter makes are destined to break, even so the life of mortals is destined to fall apart.

Grown-ups and the young, the wise, and the foolish - all these come under the spectre of death.

No father can save his son, no relative can save his relatives, when they are going to depart from this world.

While relatives stand watching and lamenting, see how beings are led to death, like cattle to a slaughter house.

Since beings are thus assailed by death and old age, the wise, knowing the nature of this world, do not grieve.

It is in vain that you lament over the dead, since you do not know whence they come not whither they go.

If wailing will heal the mourner's shafts of sorrow, only then let the wise wail.

Peace of mind is not attained by wailing. It only brings grief and hurt to the body.

Mourning only makes the mourner emaciated and pale. It does not help the departed. Therefore, mourning is meaningless.

By not forsaking sorrow, he proceeds to greater pain. He only goes deeper into the realm of sorrow.

Observe how others born onto this world according to their Kamma, must tremble under the spectre of death.

In whichever manner people think of things, things turn out to be otherwise. Such is the opposite of nature of things. Observe thus the nature of the world.

Even if a man were to live a hundred years or more, he must still yield his life, at last bereft of friends and relatives.

Therefore, listening to the wise and the holy and seeing a person departed, control your weeping. Reflect on the departure of your beloved ones by thinking that separation is natural.

Just as one would douse a burning house with water, even so let a steadfast and wise remove grief, as quickly as the wind of (a handful of) cotton.

Let a person, desirous of his own welfare, pluck out the shafts of wails and grief, he himself planted.

Having plucked out these shafts and having attained mental peace, he becomes blessed and free from grief, overcoming all sorrows.

-Khuddaka Nikaya, Sutta Nipata

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

The countdown...10

Well I guess these 10 days would be the longest. Can't wait to return to the zoo.

Great 8

To the love of my life...
Looking back at the years gone by, I can hardly believe that it has been 8 years. How we have grown together. Understand and tolerate each other. Compromise and change for the better. I owe so much to you. You have made me who I am today... the good, the bad, and the UGLY. You have been patient and I mean, very patient with me. You have tolerated my anal thinking and attitude. You have given me the confidence to do anything I set out to do. You have given me the courage to do what is right. You have showered me with love and support. You are the foundation of my life. You ground me. Without you, there never would have been a better me.

I love you. Happy Anniversary.